Double Test
by PhiSat
Summary: Wheatley is in for trouble. GLaDOS is no longer happy with torturing him for eternity; she needs a new test subject. Meanwhile, Chell is off GLaDOS's radar, but can she keep it up while trying to find an escape from Aperture Science? Human!Wheatley/Chell.
1. Boredom

**Hello there.**

**SonicCritic has recently been able to watch Portal 2 gameplay videos, and she finds her self enamored with Wheatley. Thus, she had begun to write this fanfic.**

**Some things to watch out for. First, this fanfic takes place in an alternate ending of Portal 2. You should quickly be able to understand what exactly the changes from the original game are.**

**Second, this fanfic is currently rated T. SonicCritic hasn't yet decided whether she will change this rating or not. Be aware of this before reading on.**

**Lastly, this is a Chelley fanfic. Don't Like/Will Troll, Don't Read.**

**Enjoy.  
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><p>"I am unsure you fully comprehend how difficult it is for me. I test. I used to be satisfied. But now I am bored."<p>

It was simply the truth. GLaDOS _was_ bored. Seeing an artificial intelligence team complete tests was of course informative. However, it was absolutely different from individual _human _experiments. That was simple fact. No matter how perfect, AI had a certain callousness about their deaths. They did not react to avoid it, simply dying and allowing themselves to be rebuilt.

It was simply irritating. The AI were designed to react as a human would. And in their interactions with each other, they had succeeded. But in their actual test-solving…

Not to mention that after that _farce_ of a personality sphere had been disconnected from _her_ body and _appropriately_ dealt with, she felt… compelled to lose track of her only non-stasis human. A moment of weakness she should not have had.

Fortunately, Caroline had been deleted. Most certainly. What didn't go was GLaDOS's need for excitement that had been awakened by that… _Adventure._

The shameful bit was that there were_ plenty_ of human bodies here in stasis. Unfortunately, it seemed cryosleep was not good for human brain preservation. GLaDOS had made note of it. It did not in any way aid her predicament.

Reanimation was possible, yes. Without a proper mind left to the body. Useless.

Wait.

There _was_ a way to upload personality cores into human bodies…

If only she hadn't deleted Caroline. She could have uploaded the human mind into a body and run her through tests. Solve two problems at once.

Perhaps… one AI _did_ deserve the procedure. It certainly seemed like a painful one. Oh yes…

It would have made GLaDOS smile if she had the physical capacity to do so. To become trapped in an unusual body, then forced to test for her…

This would be amusing. She was sure of it.

* * *

><p>Screaming. Screaming screaming screaming… Oh God. This was… Nononononono-<p>

The screaming turrets suddenly cut out.

"To be perfectly honest, I expected you to experience sensory overload and short circuit. I'm glad you didn't. I have a much better idea for you, moron."

"Not a moron…" The AI replied feebly. Ever since She'd returned to Her body, he'd been locked in this room… Why did She even have a Screaming Turret room? Why was it even necessary? Another of Her cruel, sick jokes no doubt.

"Since it is probably beyond your capacity to understand why you have been removed from the Screaming Turret room, I'll spell it out for you: I'm bored. I require new test subjects."

"So… Wait. You're going to stick _me_ through tests?" Wheatley asked, incredulous. "You must be _really_ desperate. I can't even _move_, you know!"

"That won't be an issue, I assure you."

Wheatley didn't know what She meant by that, but knew it couldn't be good. Worse, there'd be no rescue. He'd been enough of an ass to ensure that, if Chell _was_ even still here.

"W-What about t-those robots then? D-don't you still have them mucking about?"

As he was picked up by the massive claw that had crept up without him noticing, he wondered about the human. Had _She_ allowed Chell to live? She must have… No one could be that cruel, could they? She owed Chell Her life!

The claw suddenly slammed into a wall, but continued going, the small AI inside getting dragged against it. Wheatley cried out in pain. Sparks flew along the wall. Steel against steel grinding.

"Oh, did I just drag you along that wall? Sorry. Must have been a miscalculation."

Oh yeah, right, of course she was sorry. That was definitely on purpose. One thing Wheatley did not regret was putting _Her_ into a potato. That She had _definitely _deserved. But everything else… There was definitely a lot to regret, let's put it that way.

"Tell me, how does it feel, knowing you're powerless? Because that's what I felt. And I won't ever feel that way again. You, however, will feel this experience multiple times in the next however many hours of your life."

"I just don't see how you can test me. It-it doesn't make sense. You're going insane. You must be. It's simply not possible-"

"Many things don't to make sense to you. This is hardly a new phenomenon."

The claw continued to pull Wheatley to wherever he was being taken. Presumably to _Her _to face whatever sort of miserable tests She _somehow_ figured he could perform.

"You may be wondering what I've decided to submit you through that is worse than the Screaming Turret room. Don't worry, this is most definitely worse."

"Oh great, what is it?" Wheatley was starting to get worried. "It's going to hurt, isn't it? I'm sure you're going to make it hurt. I'd be just like you to make it hurt. Definitely like you."

"Of course it will hurt. More than normally necessary, in fact."

Wonderful. "Umm, maybe, uh, you could just, um, let me go? I swear I'll never bother you again. I'll just… go back to… um…"

"No."

Predictable, but he had to try.

"I had a perfectly well-planned destruction plan for you, metal ball. However, I've recently come across new information pertaining to core downloading and back-ups. You would never have properly died had I continued with my former plan. You would be saved on back-up, probably into a memory bank of some sort. And when I deleted you, you would feel nothing, simply ceasing to exist. That's hardly a satisfying way to deal with you. Combine this with my lack of test subjects, and I found the perfect solution."

_I'm not a moron. _The AI thought defiantly. Sure, he made mistakes every once in a while; everyone did, right? But that didn't qualify him as a moron. Except...

He just- just…

"I just make a few mistakes." He said softly.

"That is quite an understatement. That understatement was comparable to calling space large."

"I'll have you know-" He stopped talking. The claw had finally reached its destination.

* * *

><p><em>She <em>was there, of course. He was right in front of Her, Her yellow ocular lens glaring at him. She was definitely not in a good mood.

Wheatley knew he was doomed.

"So, you must be waiting to see what I have in store for you. I think you'll hate it. In fact, I'm sure it will be as miserable as you can imagine such a process to be."

"W-what are y-you going to d-do to me?"

Her lens narrowed even further than it was already narrowed, but she answered with a tinge of happiness.

"I am going to make it possible for you to test. No need to thank me."

Wheatley suddenly remembered his moving box experiments. Complete failures, they were. It looked painful, too… "Y-you're n-not going to s-stick me on two turrets, are you? That would just be-"

"That's of course what you would think, isn't it? As… amusing as that might be, I have a more _**elegant **_solution."

He noticed he was extremely high up. Too high. Waaaaaaaaaaay to high. Wheatley looked up, trying to ignore the height at which he was being dangled. At which She was dangling him. Unsuccessfully, by the way.

"Well, this looks like it will do… I did want something more… painful, but this will do _**nicely**_."

Wheatley turned, and his optic widened at what he saw.

"What are you doing? No! Oh no! Get that away! No no no nonononononononono… AAAAAAAAAAGH-"

Wheatley's screams suddenly cut out.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Chell. You can do this. Just keep going."<p>

Funny, normally she didn't talk to anything, much less herself. Especially not to AI. AI weren't worth it. All they did was betray you and made you suffer. They weren't worth the risk or the time. Even little Wheatley…

He had been a strange AI, no doubt about it. She hadn't talked to him either, not even when he tried to coax her to. Not even when he thought she had brain damage as a result of messing with him. Jumping instead of answering.

She hadn't trusted him. To her, he was just another intrusive AI trying to rope her into something.

He ended up being a charming little core, though he was quite a bit… Muddled. He meant well though. He did end up wanting to rope her into something, but that something ended up being escape. Chell had started to trust him…

Only for him to go just as crazy as GLaDOS.

Just when it seemed like she would finally _escape_, she would finally leave this hellhole named Aperture Science, she would finally have completed her last test, and she would finally have a real friend… Her friend turned on her. After plummeting her into the very bottom of the science facility, he left her to her own devices; let her figure out her own way out. With GLaDOS inside a potato. PotaDOS. Ha ha. Not only that; when she finally made it out, he decided to put her through another round of tests… Tests that obviously meant more to him than her state of health.

She returned the favour though. She fought Wheatley, though she wished she hadn't had to. She watched her only friend get sucked into space, along with her-

Then she woke up, and he wasn't there. GLaDOS was back in her own body. Chell had filled her part of the bargain between herself and the AI.

Yet despite all this, she still wasn't allowed to escape. Even after helping GLaDOS regain her body.

She was told to leave. She thought… She thought maybe, just maybe, GLaDOS was being sincere. Maybe it was finally over.

She'd forgotten that at full power, GLaDOS could lie.


	2. Operation

**Hm. SonicCritic changed her handle to PhiSat.**

**The reviews on this aren't bad. I'll continue.**

**So, the real action and such aren't yet. But they'll be soon. Bear with me, guys. I was trying to do a torture sequence, but it kinda failed, so I kinda coped out on it. Opinions on its fail would be nice.**

**- PhiSat**

* * *

><p><strong>Operation<strong>

_It was now obvious to Chell that GLaDOS had meant to finish her off. _

_The only thing that had saved her was her tendency to fire Portals off into hallways when she was bored. That and the fact that the elevator shaft had had Conversion Gel painted onto it during her fight with Wheatley. And possibly the fact that there was no Emancipation Grille in her elevator. And that some part of her always expected betrayal from deranged AI. _

_In short, she was really, really lucky._

_When the turrets tried to lock on, she didn't hesitate. She ran, knocking them over before they had a chance to shoot, (and avoiding their spray when they were tipped) fired a portal at the closest surface available… Then fell down the very same elevator shaft she'd just been through._

_Chell wasn't worried; she had her Long-Fall Boots, and if there was any way of deactivating them she didn't know of one. She'd be fine._

_As long as she didn't land in water. That could be messy._

_She didn't end up landing on water, but in fact landing on a metal catwalk several stories below GLaDOS's room. Before GLaDOS could find her and finish the job, she ran._

* * *

><p>"I learned something today. Apparently you possess a Manual Speech Override. How convenient. If I had only known about this feature <strong><em>sooner<em>**."

Wheatley was still on.

But he couldn't speak.

"I can understand why your creators would have enabled such a feature. Seems they are at least worthy of **_some_** respect. You were probably their dethroning achievement in all other regards."

_He couldn't speak!_

"Now… Since your blabbering has stopped, I should attempt to explain what this process entails. From the notes made on… This subject, it is painful to an extreme degree. I can believe it. Some of the tools required are quite… primitive."

She'd turned off his speech! Not only that, and now She was going to explain how She was going to torture him. While She tortured him. Wonderful. At least he could still think. That was a positive. Very good thing.

"Let's begin, shall we?"

_You should at least tell me what's going on- Is that a drill? That's a _bloody_ drill! Well, not literally a __**bloody**__ drill… Focus, Wheatley!_

"We will begin with the Drill. It seems your sphere model is built to be resilient."

_Resilient? I suppose, though I never really- SHE'S TRYING TO PIERCE YOUR HULL! _The realization came at the same time as the drill began to enter the back of the sphere AI.

He wanted to scream. The override wouldn't let him.

He felt the drill shearing his metal hull, piercing him, revealing his inner machinery. Pain shot through the AI, sharp as possible within the simulated senses of a personality sphere.

There was only one thing that had ever been more painful.

But that had only lasted a second.

"You surprise me, moron. I thought you would be writhing in pain." A pause. "Oh yes, you have no limbs. You **_can't move_** on your own. Silly me."

Despite the pain, Wheatley felt her cutting sarcasm, her laughter at his helplessness. Another spike of pain shot through him. He tightly shut his ocular aperture, wincing, as it was all he could do against the waves of pain his sensors processed-

The drill stopped.

"That should do for the drill. Did it hurt?"

She was obviously not expecting an answer. She hadn't restored Wheatley's speech.

"You still have no idea what I'm going to do to you, do you? I suppose I have been a little vague… A deer would know what I was implying, but a brick might not. That gives me an idea of your intelligence level, by the way. Somewhere between an animal and a brick. Noted."

He never thought he could hate something as strongly as he hated Her. (Not that he hated much else, but…)

"I have to spell it out for you, don't I? Well, here goes. _I A-M L-O-A-D-I-N-G Y-O-U-R C-O-N-S-C-I-O-U-S-N-E-S-S I-N-T-O A H-U-M-A-N. A V-E-R-Y P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C H-U-M-A-N_."

Wheatley paused. The pain had subsided by now. It didn't make this translation any easier… Why couldn't she just be plain about whatever torture he was going to be put through? Okay… He played back the words in his mind. I am uh, loading your… um, consciousness into a…

Oh, bloody hell.

His widened ocular aperture must have said it all. She gave a small laugh.

_You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking. This has to be a joke. It's crazy. Mad. You're mad! I thought I had been mad, but no, you are completely and truly mad! It's not possible. You're lying. You're craz-_

"It certainly is a different type of science than I am used to performing. But it will certainly be informative. And I'll admit; I _**quite enjoy**_ watching your pain."

Oh, no. Why did she need him as a human anyways? He was fine the way he was! Except for not being able to move. Or speak, at the moment. Or fight back. Or make a decision he didn't end up regretting- Actually, don't think about those things. Being a bloody human would be a _thousand times_ worse. Wheatley was sure about that. Absolutely perfectly sure. Humans were disgusting. He knew, he'd been watching over thousands of them for about… 300 years? Something like that?

"You're not listening, are you, moron?"

An electric shock jolted through the spherical AI. His ocular aperture squeezed tight again. Soundlessly. No one would have known, if they came in at that moment, that anything was amiss. Unless they knew Wheatley's disposition, of course.

"I was about to show you your new body. It's right here. You must not realize what I'm giving you. I'm giving you the potential to test."

Wheatley didn't bother looking towards whatever smelly (Well, it was probably smelly) human was over there. She said it like it was the most wonderful gift someone could be bestowed with. To Her, it probably was. The best gift She could give _Herself_, in any case. She'd scratch the Itch by watching _him_ test! And as a human, of all bloody things-

Another silent shock.

"You _**still**_ aren't listening. Well fine then, I won't tell or show you anything else. We'll just have to start _**now**_."

Starting! No! There was no way for Wheatley to tell Her to stop, that he was listening (Really! Somewhat). He would have done anything to keep her talking, to see if he could find a plan to get out of here… So far, nothing. He didn't have a Portal Gun, so he couldn't just leave… And that's if he could even hold a Portal Gun in the first place. Which he couldn't.

"Hmm, it seems this process requires you to be deactivated, or you'll suffer from brain damage... Even _**without**_ brain damage, I doubt _**you'll**_ make it very far in testing. Say goodbye to your precious little life."

Suddenly, his speech function was turned back on. "Pleasepleasepleasedon'-"

This time, he _was_ deactivated.

The process had begun.

* * *

><p>There was no choice. She was going to have to run through this test chamber.<p>

Chell had been going almost non-stop since she'd fallen onto the catwalk. She'd been able to keep to areas behind the normal test chambers and stayed as quiet as possible, barring a few whispered motivational words to herself. That had been one thing Wheatley _could_ do well; encouraging her.

_But Wheatley isn't here now. He went insane and is probably orbiting the moon. Forget about him._

She returned her focus to the looming test chamber. Completely deserted and somewhat disordered, one of the panels covering the adjacent wall seemed to have malfunctioned, leaving a disorderly gap with plenty of room for her to run through it.

But GLaDOS was probably watching…

It was impossible to tell whether that deranged AI was checking the testing rooms, trying to find her… Or if GLaDOS had simply decided not to bother with her and test other unfortunate souls.

There was just no way to know. GLaDOS wasn't like Wheatley. She didn't having huge monitors exhibiting her face whenever she was testing. No, she liked her presence to be heard and felt… But not seen. If Chell had to guess, she'd chalk it up to GLaDOS actively sowing paranoia. "For science". Right.

Chell observed the wall she was leaning on for what seemed like an umpteenth time. It was a non-Portal surface. Same as the floor here. She couldn't just open a Portal to the other side.

No, that would be too easy, of course.

She sighed to herself. She was tired. Not just physically (she was hungry too) but mentally. She'd believed so strongly that she'd finished jumping through hoops. She thought the ordeals were over. She'd finally see sunlight again…

_Here goes nothing._

Chell sprinted through the room, her Long-Fall Boots clicking on the floor at each step. She jumped through the opening and hit the floor on the other side, immediately rolling out of the range of any possible cameras in the Testing Room.

She waited.

Sixty seconds passed, and Chell hadn't been scooped up and deposited somewhere else. She relaxed.

_GLaDOS must be busy with something at the moment. _Chell thought to herself. Well, it suited her. She got up and dusted herself off.

Just a bit further, then she'd find somewhere to rest.

* * *

><p>"<em>Well, you're obviously not from here. Why the hell'd you come all the way out to Ohio?"<em>

_He shrugged. "I guess… I've just… just always wanted to move. So I did. And I thought; 'Why not work for Aperture Science?' You did widely advertise that you were hiring, or so it seemed..."_

"_That's true, kid." The man stood up. "Well, I think you'd fit in fine here. Mr. Johnson liked you in your interview with him too." He shook the guy's hand. "You'll hear from us soon."_

_The other man, younger than the interviewer, gave a slightly goofy, but genuine, smile. "Great! I'll be waiting! Thank you, Mr. Trent!"_

"_Ha ha, no problem, kid. Hope to see you soon." The other man nodded, still wearing his smile, and walked out._

_Rick Trent shook his head. Goofy kid, but Mr. Johnson liked him... It was getting harder and harder to get people Mr. Johnson liked. Probably was his first job. _

_"Just hope he reads the paperwork."_


	3. Meeting

**Not much to say for this chapter. I'm loving the amount of story alerts and favourites this is getting. It seems a little selfish of me to want reviews too... XP**

**But yeah. Reviews if you'd like, I suppose. **

**I'm tempted to pull a rating change on this eventually. I'd like opinions on the subject.**

**- PhiSat**

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><p><strong>Meeting<strong>

_The first day on the job was definitely the strangest day of his life._

_He'd met many of his co-workers that day. There was Craig Reese, a rather snobbish man who obviously thought he was better than this job. He couldn't stop trying to impress everyone. And the gossip… Perhaps it was true; every workplace would have at least _one_ gossip._

_Then there was Calvin Spiro, definitely an off bloke. Always focused, but never on the right things. All most people knew about him was he was energetic and was absolutely _fixated _on two things. Space and Lindy Shaw. Especially space. _

_Lindy was the youngest of the bunch, a summer intern right out of high school, hired to be cheap. She was absolutely curious about everything and anything. Not to mention she was also extremely kind and slightly… Hyperactive, as it were._

_He learned his interviewer, Rick Trent, didn't actually work in the same department as he did, oddly enough, but the pair did meet in hallways at times. If Craig was the gossiper, than Rick was the gossip subject. If Craig was to be believed, all the ladies in the building had dated Rick at least once. Even spacey Spiro had been able to confirm that Rick was a _serious_ womanizer._

_Well, maybe he could get tips from Rick then…He wasn't exactly famous in that department, certainly not back home… Though Lindy had given a sort of squeak at hearing him speak… _

_Before Spiro gave him an _extremely _focused look that screamed 'If you touch her, you die'._

_So much for that._

* * *

><p>He groaned.<p>

What was going on? His whole self seemed to be in pain. More areas than he thought he even possessed. How odd.

He tried searching his memory bank, but it seemed to be running more slowly than usual. Not to mention less clearly… Seemed he'd been damaged in some way… From _Her_, no doubt.

Wait. There was no screaming.

Everything rushed back. He slammed his head on the wall behind him. The world burst into a single throb of pain. He clutched his head, overwhelmed with the sudden intense-

Head? Hands?

"Bloody... Hell." She… had been serious.

He was a bloody smelly human.

Not only that, it seemed human's body parts could move by themselves. Absolutely wonderful. He had absolutely no idea how to move these things, and they end up moving on their own. Just… Great.

He opened his… eyes and found something even worse. His sight was blurred.

"Okay Wheatley, just… Focus. Even brain-damaged humans can see and move their bodies around just fine. Surely you can too. Okay, um… Uh… How to start… Er…"

He really did have no idea.

This was worse than hacking.

"Let's see… How did they do it… think, think, think…" He remained motionless. "Um, all right… So, I'm on the floor right now. But I'm sitting up, so that's some good news. I _do_ have the capability to move. Sight though, um, that's a little…"

Wait, did that… _his _hand just move?

Yes! Yes it did! Though he wasn't sure how he'd moved it, Wheatley was immensely pleased with himself. He'd done _something _right!

"Yes, wonderful! Alright then… Okay, you've moved a hand; let's see if we can't move an arm."

Funny, he picked up talking immediately. No problems there. He didn't understand why Chell had such problems with it…

Chell. She was probably still here.

He had to find her. He had so much to tell her, so much to say, so much to apologize for…

Once he could move. And see.

* * *

><p>Chell woke up.<p>

She wasn't sure how long she'd slept. Meaning it was too long. She had to keep moving. With a stretch, she hauled herself up, grabbing the Portal Device and setting down the hallway she'd slept in.

It still seemed GLaDOS hadn't noticed her. Thank God. However, she still hadn't found an escape elevator. She could only hope that there were other escape elevators, and the one locked inside with GLaDOS was not the only way out…

GLaDOS would be guarded too heavily for Chell to openly try a third attempt on her life.

No, her best bet was to try to find a different escape route. Surely one existed. Chell couldn't imagine someone creating this large facility with only one way out, passing through the insane AI's main chamber. There had to be a hidden way out, there just _had _to be.

_There _had _to be._

Even if she took years to find it.

Chell continued down the hallway until she came to a point where the hallways diverged into two sections. She briefly glanced at a deteriorating sign on the wall.

Level 73, S…king Wa...ho..ses, Comp…n Cube St…age, Test… 1-…7.

- Employee Storage Sec…r. Cryo…eep …aults. AUT…RIZED PE…NNEL …LY.

Cryosleep Vaults? Employee Storage Sector? Were there more people here? Possibly alive?

Chell paused. She needed to think about this.

When Wheatley had woken her up, he said she was the last test subject alive. But none of this area looked familiar… This could easily be another human storage area. Plus, she hadn't been an employee; surely she wouldn't have been housed with them?

There could be more people alive.

But GLaDOS would most likely spot her trying to unlock someone. She'd get carted back off to testing in a heartbeat. If she wasn't neurotoxined on the spot for having the nerve to escape.

But…

Fuck it. She had to know.

Chell made her way down the second hallway.

* * *

><p>Wheatley had finally figured out how to move, somewhat. He could stand and gave tiny, halting steps across the room. And he was proud of it.<p>

"Yes! Who's the boss? Wheatley's the boss! Ha! Bet no one else ever figured out how to move so fast, oh no sir! Little Wheatley did it first!"

Though he had to admit to himself that he wasn't so little any more. He wasn't exactly sure of his height, but he guessed this body was rather tall, seeing as he could easily touch the Management Rail he used to be attached to. Chell wouldn't have been able to without jumping. She was quite a good jumper…

He paused, remorseful. Chell… She was such a better person than he was. Smart, despite how quiet she was. He didn't quite understand _why _he'd wanted to kill her, now that he thought about it. He just remembered-

The Chassis. _Her_ body. The Itch.

He sighed. (Strange use of air, that) No, he couldn't just blame Her circuitry. He was to blame; he couldn't control the sudden raw power he'd been exposed to. He'd let it submerge his values, poison his mind until all he wanted to dwell on was testing and all and any (few) mistakes Chell had made when with him. Very few mistakes indeed. Now that he searched his memory, there was only one instance that stood out at all. She hadn't caught him the first time he decided to take the largest risk of his life and drop off the Management Rail.

And now he remembered she'd tried. Not to mention her silent apology…

"I'm sorry, Chell. So, so sorry. I don't know if you can ever forgive me for what I did. I don't think I'd forgive myself. I behaved like a total monster. I just… Just…"

While repeating his apology to himself, he felt his eyes begin to blur. Like when he hadn't been wearing those… Glasses at the start. Good thing he'd found them quickly, else he'd probably have managed to kill himself by now. Multiple times. Who knew furniture could be so lethal to human legs?

Was… Was _water _coming out of his eyes? Humans were so strange. He thought they had to drink water to survive, not so it would leak out of their eyes. He sniffed (disgusting…) and wiped the water off his face with the sleeve of his lab coat.

"Don't worry. Whatever happened in the past, I'll save _you_ this time. I'll find you, and I'll apologize, and we'll take Her down _together_. I… I _promise._ I'll make everything right as I can, luv."

Silence followed his monologue.

Wheatley wondered when She was going to come get him.

* * *

><p>Chell peered into each room, hoping to see someone occupying a bed, as she had.<p>

She was disappointed each time.

Yes, these were certainly cryosleep chambers, and it looked like there might have been people here until a short while ago. But they were not here.

She paused. Had they been evacuated because GLaDOS had run out of test subjects? Were these her predecessors' chambers? No, that didn't make sense… Wheatley hadn't told her exactly how long she'd been in cryosleep, but it was long enough the internal clock in the Relaxation Centre was thoroughly broken past its normal time range. If these were her predecessors, their chambers would have been completely abandoned.

These were not.

It didn't make sense. GLaDOS should have wanted the people in these rooms preserved so they could test. People had definitely been in these rooms. Where were they?

Chell heard a voice.

Someone was left! Chell hurried towards the source of the noise. There were other people! She wasn't alone-

Wait.

Chell stopped. She knew that voice.

_Wheatley?_

It was definitely his voice. But how? Had GLaDOS brought him back from space? Had he ever been in space at all? Chell tried to remember. She'd shot a Portal at the moon, she'd gotten sucked out, but clung to Wheatley, he was panicking…

Then nothing. It all went blank after that. She'd assumed GLaDOS had ejected Wheatley and pulled her back inside for more testing. But… Maybe she hadn't marooned Chell's best friend in space. Though Chell had no idea why she wouldn't have…

She listened for the voice again. Wheatley couldn't keep silent for long… There it was. Chell crept closer to the door. She couldn't quite make out what Wheatley was saying. Closer…

"…Don't think _I'd_ forgive myself. I behaved like a total monster. I just… Just…"

She pressed her ear to the metal door, barely noticing that it was cold. She noticed it was slightly ajar just after she did so. Sighing at her stupidity, she put her ear to the crack of the door instead.

"… Don't worry. Whatever happened in the past, I'll save _you_ this time. I'll find you, and I'll apologize, and we'll take Her down together. I… I promise. I'll make everything right as I can, luv."

Silence.

"Do you mean that?"


	4. Chance

**It's PhiSat's birthday today, so she made sure to finish and upload this chapter, just for everyone that enjoys this budding tale. Thus she will get e-mail for her birthday and not be a loner.**

***Pause***

**A-anyways, PhiSat hopes you enjoy this chapter. Faves, Alerts, and Reviews appreciated and encouraged.**

**-PhiSat**

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><p><strong>Chance<strong>

He fell over in shock, his shoulder taking most of the pain. Ignoring the throb as best as he could, Wheatley got up and rushed over to the door, throwing it open.

Happiness. Surprise.

"Chell! You're all right! And you found me! Of course you found me, you clever fox! But not literally a fox, you're still human. By the way, look at-"

He suddenly noticed her body language was… All wrong. Completely not what he'd expected. Instead of being happy (or angry) to see him, Chell was backed against the wall, a look of pure shock on her face. And that stare… He'd never seen such a look from her, not even when she was trying to solve a complex test…

"What's wrong, luv? What is it? I'm not… I'm not how I was… then, alright? You… You have to trust me on that one. I'm most definitely, certainly not corrupted. I think I'd know if I was still corrupted."

She was still looking shocked. Or something along those lines.

"H-how…"

It was Wheatley's turn to be dumbstruck. For about four entire seconds of blinking like an idiot. A moron. That thought snapped him out of it.

"Ah, y-you talk? Y-you c-can talk? How long has this been for? Wh- Oh, um, I guess we can start with me…" She was getting over her initial surprise and had flashed him a look. Not a nice look. Quite a dangerous one.

"Okay, okay, well, there's not much to tell, really. She, you know who I'm talking about, brought me in from space, after you… Uh, after… After I nearly did you in… And by the way, I am so, so terribly sorry for that, I… t-take b-back anything a-and everything I-I said, I shouldn't… Bloody Hell, why is this so hard?"

His eyes were watering again. He didn't understand. What was going on? It was like he'd just sniffed ammonia.

Ammonia…

Before he could dwell on this, Wheatley noticed Chell had gotten up and moved towards him, frowning. He suddenly worried about his safety. He _had _tried to kill her. She'd be perfectly justified in attempting revenge... Oh hell, she was going to kill him, wasn't she? He shut his eyes and was about to beg for forgiveness when he felt something touching his chest.

He opened his eyes and looked down.

Chell had a hand on his chest, her eyes wide.

"Um, yep, I'm real… Not a hologram. It's _Her _doing, not sure how She did it, but it _was _Her… So, uh, now I'm a human. Probably permanently."

Chell stepped back, lowering her hand… Before slapping him in the face.

It stung. He winced as pain shot through his cheek.

"Guess I deserved that, huh?" He asked. "Putting you through tests again… and trying to kill you. I'm very, very happy I failed, by the way. You deserve to be killed by someone much more competent than me."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Ah, no! I didn't mean… You… I… You shouldn't be killed at all! It's just, if you were to be killed, it should be by someone better…" Wheatley withered under Chell's unblinking stare. "… Don't kill me…"

She sighed. He remembered that sound; she made it when she was annoyed. "I'm not going to kill you, Wheatley. I heard what you said. It sounded sincere."

"Oh, uh, you heard that, did you? Well then…" The former AI noticed how softly she spoke. "So… Uh… Since when can you speak? I mean, not that you're not amazing and smart and all, and probably have better aptitude for uh, decision making than I'll ever have… But if you'd spoken earlier, a lot of this could have been avoided."

Chell walked past him and inside the room he had been occupying, not answering his unspoken question. Maybe she hadn't understood. He wasn't the greatest at setting up subtlety. Wheatley tried again.

"What I'm asking, really, is what were you bloody thinki-"

She turned sharply, a finger pressed to her lips. He got the message and shut up.

Until Chell had gotten back to whatever she was doing. Examining the walls, it seemed. No, Nevermind that, she was searching for something.

"Hey, what are you looking for? I could-"

Another glare and he fell silent again. Perhaps it was best to just let her search. Less risk of her changing her mind about killing him.

After checking a cupboard, she seemed satisfied. "All right. I can talk. I've always been able to talk, except for the few minutes after you woke me up." She'd wrapped her arms around herself at the last part of the sentence. _She must have been frightened._ Wheatley reasoned, remembering when She'd turned off his vocal capabilities.

"What were you looking for, if I might ask?" Wheatley asked.

She shrugged. "I wanted to know if GLaDOS was watching this room."

Immediate paranoia set in. Was She watching them right now? At this very moment? She would know Chell was here! She would take her into testing again-

Chell must have noticed the worry on Wheatley's face. "She isn't. There's no cameras."

Oh. Of course there weren't. That's why Chell decided it was okay to talk. Yes. Subtlety again, which he was not the best at.

"Well that's good news then. Wait, what are you looking for now?" Chell had gone back to rummaging through the cupboard she'd just been through. "Um, Chell…"

She pulled down two metal boxes from the cupboard and shut… Something that was in the cupboard, then turned to him, definitely looking happier than before.

"What are those things?"

"Read it yourself." Chell tossed one of the boxes towards him. He just barely caught it by its edges and moved it a bit closer to his face to examine the label.

APERTURE SCIENCE LUNCH MEAL CONSUMPTION BOX

"Wait, so… This is food?" He seemed to remember something about humans needing food… Then again, organic brains _really_ weren't good with memory preservation. He only remembered a little about any time past around fifty years ago, anything outstanding, really. It was jarring to try to look up a memory and find it wasn't there…

What if he'd been damaged during whatever She'd done to put him in this body? It could have nothing to do with an organic brain-

A loud clap in front of his face interrupted his thoughts, startling him back into reality.

"You okay, Wheatley?"

"Um, yes, I-I think so. Yes, totally fine. Don't worry 'bout me." Chell looked unconvinced. At least, he figured that was what being unconvinced looked like. "No, really, I'm fine. Just thinking, is all."

To prove he was fine, he inspected the metal box, trying to figure out how it opened. Um… He tried prying off the top, as he'd seen some humans do before. Or so he thought. All right, that wasn't it…

Chell suddenly took the box from him, flicking something back. The box clicked, then opened.

"Oh! That's how you do it! Right! That makes sense…Um, thanks for that." She handed him the box, a hint of a smile present.

He was happy to see her smile. He couldn't remember exactly the last time he'd seen her with one. Maybe when he'd hacked some wall panels so she could escape from Her…

Putting that thought aside, he observed the contents of the Aperture Science Lunch Meal Consumption Box. There was some kind of brightly-coloured box with a tube attached, a bread-and-meat sort of thing wrapped in plastic, something that was shiny on the bottom half and circular, and finally, and with this discovery, it was Wheatley's turn to smile, a red apple.

"How is this stuff still fresh? I mean, it must have been centuries since this stuff's been put here- Oh… Sorry. Didn't mean to put you off your food… Ah, I'll be quiet now."

Chell took a bite of the thing formerly wrapped in plastic. "It's for the test subjects, to make sure they have a balanced diet. So they can test as soon as they wake them up."

Wheatley whistled. "Wow. How'd you learn that?"

She smirked. "It's a guess."

"Oh. But it sounds right! I bet that is why they made these… Aperture Science whatever-they-are-things. Also, what is this?" He asked, holding up the coloured box for her to see.

Chell smiled again. "Here. You take the straw…"

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><p>Wheatley, a human. She never would have believed it was possible. Then again, this <em>was<em> Aperture Science, masters of the impossible/ridiculous.

Insane.

She could easily figure out why GLaDOS could want Wheatley as a human. Testing. So she _had_ really run out of test subjects… Thus she'd be on the lookout for Chell. Wonderful.

What confused Chell about this line of thought was the fact that GLaDOS didn't have any cameras in this room. Why not? Obviously she didn't expect Chell to be here- Unless she was baiting her. No, or she'd have installed cameras. It didn't make sense. It could be that GLaDOS was waiting for the former AI to die of hunger or something, but surely GLaDOS would want to watch that…

She didn't like it.

Chell ate her sandwich (Roast beef and cheese) as she wondered about GLaDOS's behaviour. By the time she'd finished, she'd only come to one solid conclusion:

They had to leave as soon as possible.

She examined the room they were in. Designed to look like a hotel room, like the relaxation vault she'd woken up in. Presumably like all other Relaxation Vaults in the Relaxation Centres. This room, however, had quite a few cupboards lining the walls, for whatever reason. Most of them contained food, like these boxes concealed in a mini-fridge.

She wondered how long these boxes would keep… It had been three hundred years at least…

"Uh, Chell, a little help, please?"

She looked up. Wheatley was struggling with the small pie, obviously knowing he was supposed to use a fork, but not quite getting the concept of _how_ to use the utensil. Pastry flakes flew from the pie as he struggled with it. At the rate he was going, the pie was going to be mush before he got to try it.

Chell shook her head and took the fork from the former AI's hand. "This is how you hold a fork." She explained, showing him the proper hold, then handing back the fork.

He took it, almost gingerly, and tried again. "Feels odd." He muttered.

"It does at first. You'll get used to it."

As she watched Wheatley struggle, it suddenly dawned on her that Wheatley would very likely have died if she hadn't found him. She observed the human her friend now was. Tall, thin, almost like something had stretched him out. Messy orange-red hair. Wide blue eyes, partially hidden by thick-rimmed rectangular glasses. He wasn't wearing the standard test subject jumpsuit either. Instead, he wore a lab coat with the Aperture Science name and logo on the front pocket, white pants, and a blue dress shirt.

Chell wondered who this human was before, and why GLaDOS had picked him to be Wheatley's host. He had to be around 6"5, but he looked rather fragile, being so thin and... Somewhat pale, too. The glasses certainly didn't help…

A pale, skinny, fragile-looking nerd. Not threatening in the least.

Maybe GLaDOS thought that was fitting for the "Intelligence Dampening Sphere".

But the fact that he was so non-threatening looking, so non-dangerous, maybe even a bit pathetic, was making it hard for Chell to stay angry with him, to hate him with all the ire he deserved.

Deserved? Maybe.

But she wasn't like GLaDOS, despite being _aware_ of the fact she was becoming cynical (But no less determined). And Wheatley was never all bad. She believed he had genuinely wanted to escape Aperture. There was something wrong with GLaDOS's body that made him change that goal…

"Chell? You all right?"

"Yeah…" She snapped the lunch box shut and stood up, heading towards the bathroom. Who knew when she'd get this opportunity again? "I'm gonna take a shower, so don't come in-"

"What's that?"

Huh? She stopped and turned to face Wheatley. He stared back, wide-eyed as always and curious.

"You honestly don't know what taking a shower means?"

"Um… No, can't say I recall it exactly… It has something to do with water, doesn't it? But that's all I know…" He scratched the back of his head. "See, water's really not good for cores-"

Oh, great. Just wonderful. Chell was frozen, indecisive. How much exactly was she going to have to teach him, for God's sake? Surely he knew some things?

She sighed. This wasn't going to get any easier. She walked up to Wheatley and grabbed his arm, dragging him into the bathroom, ignoring his sudden protesting babble.

He was going to have to learn sooner or later.

Best to learn now.


	5. Ammonia

**Hey guys :)  
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**I know I haven't updated this in almost a year... I did try to work on this chapter, multiple times, but it seemed PhiSat is very disorganized and leaves her files everywhere... :P Thus it has taken quite a while. But since so many people wished that I continue this fanfic and my other Portal 2 fanfic, ST4LK3R, (Somehow they're my most popular!) I've decided to dredge up the files and see if I can keep them going. Good thing I have at least _some _backups.  
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**Thank you to all those who have given me reviews, without you guys I wouldn't continue this or any of my fanfics for that matter. You guys are the best! ;)  
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**Anyways, enjoy this chapter and please remember to Review/Fave!  
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**-PhiSat  
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><p><strong>Ammonia<strong>

"_GLaDOS project online. Personality transfer operation… successful."_

_Mr. Johnson had died the day before. His orders for the company had been clear. Caroline was to lead the company should GLaDOS not be ready for personality transfer before his death. Also, don't bother taking a day off. Science didn't rest._

_It had taken only a sixteenth of a picosecond for the newly made AI to try to kill the scientists testing it. Deadly neurotoxin was her weapon of choice. After she'd been disabled and the gas was safely cleared from the room, they hypothesized it was probably a knee-jerk reaction from Caroline. It would pass._

_They were incorrect._

_However, Wheatley Thompson didn't know about any of this. No, he wasn't an engineer or a programmer. He wasn't involved in the GLaDOS project at all. He was on a much different project, but a project of no less importance, Mr. Johnson had insisted._

_The Combustible Lemon project. Also known as Project Burning Citrus._

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><p>"What's this? Chell, what's going on?"<p>

"You're taking a shower, that's what's going on."

Wheatley glanced towards the glass-enclosed space. A strange metallic contraption was attached to the wall, along with what might have been a sort of switch below it.

Along with a drain. Water. Not good.

"A-am I t-to assume this is going t-to involve w-water? Um, 'cause, don't know if I've m-mentioned this before, but-"

"Hey." He stopped, looking towards his friend. "You're not going to die, Wheatley."

"Wot?"

"You're a human now. Water doesn't kill humans unless they breathe it in. In fact, we need it to survive. More than 60% of our bodies are made up of water."

That startled the former AI. "60%?" He sputtered, aghast. "Are you serious? That's ridiculous! How does that even work? I don't-"

Chell sighed. Wheatley felt a twinge of guilt. She'd proven he could trust her judgment a lot better than he could trust his own… Not that his judgment was easy to beat; he realized that now. "A-Alright, I'll go in there… It's not going to hurt, right?"

"It's not going to hurt, I promise."

Wheatley could go on with that reassurance. He took a deep breath and strode into the shower.

Nothing happened.

"So, uh… What happens now?" Wheatley asked.

Was she… Why was her face going red? He hadn't done something wrong, had he? Wheatley was about to point it out when Chell spoke.

"You're… You're going to have to take your clothes off."

"…Ah."

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><p><em>When she'd first woken up, she didn't remember anything. But she'd been afraid.<em>

_Her gut feeling told her not to trust the metal ball in front of her, however sincere he seemed, especially when he started moving the room, smashing into anything he saw. A clumsy robot should have been a strange, foreign thing to a normal person, but somehow Chell was just resigned._

_Cognitive deterioration. So she was brain-damaged. Strange, she was oddly calm faced with the fact. A consequence of the damage? Who knew. Maybe that explained her resignation at the robot._

_She had no memories of _how _or _why _she was in this room, but there was… Something. Warning her. A sort of voice at the back of her head, though she couldn't quite make out what it was saying._

_She had the distinct impression she'd been here before._

_Portal Gun. The old tests. They were too easy, even with the rooms in such bad condition. Somehow, she just knew what to do, mild case of brain damage or not. She jumped into the waiting Orange Portal, not a modicum afraid of jumping. Simple. _Too_ simple, her brain told her._

_She'd definitely done this before._

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><p>"So… Uh… Y-you're going t-to want to leave now, I reckon?"<p>

Chell was surprised. She expected she was going to have to try to explain why she wasn't staying, having to go into some… awkward details with him. Seems he possessed some self-consciousness.

"Wait, Chell, what's this… Shower… For, exactly? I'm not quite-"

"How long were you tending to test subjects for?" Chell asked incredulously. "And you don't know what a shower does?"

"Well, there's a stream of w-water, a-and you… Uh, stand under it… And… That's all I've got, honestly, on the subject…" He gave a nervous chuckle.

Nothing in her life _could _be easy, could it?

Chell wanted to facepalm so badly at the moment, but she restrained herself for Wheatley's sake. It wasn't _completely_ his fault, she supposed, he was still adjusting to being human. But he should have known _something_ about basic hygiene… This was looking more and more like a serious ordeal in the making. She didn't even want to know how Wheatley would react when he had to go to the washroom for the first time. But at the same time, she couldn't just abandon him now. He needed _someone _to teach him.

But they needed to leave here as soon as possible. She hadn't found any cameras, and that bothered her. Something was very wrong here. It might just be because GLaDOS was preoccupied with rebuilding the facility, but how long had it been since Wheatley had been removed from power? It should be done by now.

Anyways… She couldn't focus on that right now. Wheatley was still waiting for her explanation, some fear still present in his eyes, though he was obviously trying to hide it. Well, the sooner he stopped being scared of everything, the better it would be for the both. "Okay…" She gave a quick glance to the soap. It was multi-purpose, obviously to save money. Typical, for Aperture to spend millions on moon rocks and dimes on soap. "The soap is there," Chell pointed to it. "You have to spread it through your hair and across your body, as much of it as you can reach. Then you wash it off. Simple."

Wheatley looked perplexed, turning to look at the soap and picking the bottle up. "Is that so?" He now examined it from every angle, lifting up the bottle over his head now. "But… How do you…"

Chell's annoyance turned to faint amusement now; she gave a small smile and a chuckle. "It's at the top of the bottle. You push that thing down."

"Oh!" Wheatley brought the bottle back down with a bit of a sheepish grin. "Right. That… That kind of makes sense, doesn't it…" His grin faded fast, and he ended up looking even more pathetic before. It was hard not to feel sorry for him, so overwhelmed like this. But Chell still kept the other part in her mind; they had to get moving.

"I'll be outside if you need me." With that, Chell quickly headed out. With any luck, Wheatley could figure this much out… It was just a shower… But she wasn't counting on it. She'd probably only get about five minutes peace, if that-

"Aaaaaaagh!"

No, of course not.

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><p>Wheatley decided he absolutely, positively, most certainly <em>did not <em>like showers.

The water was too hot, then too cold. It seemed like it could _never_ reach a good balance where it wouldn't hurt him to stand under that stream of water. Even after Chell had helped him move the switch around, it was still only bearable. And _then_ the "soap" business. It hadn't been content with staying in his hair _when he'd deliberately put it there._ No, it _had _to run down into his eyes. And that… Well, that had burnedsomething _awful_.

"I hope you're happy, Chell." He pouted slightly about having to have gone through the whole ordeal. It didn't seem very fair- But then he remembered all the things he had put her through; what he'd done to her. This didn't even compare to any one of those things. When Wheatley thought about it honestly, he would rather go through a dozen showers in a row than through even one testing chamber… With their deadly lasers and such…

No, he was lucky. Chell had got to him before _She _did.

He looked towards the bathroom door. After helping him find some odd rectangles of scratchy material she called _towels_, Chell had gone into the bathroom herself for one of those shower things. He wasn't watching, clearly, but she wasn't screaming in pain every few minutes like he'd done.

He wondered if he'd even get used to being a human. Probably not. They were such odd creatures, weren't they, really?

But somehow Wheatley's mind was brought back to the smell of ammonia. It was a truly horribly smell, making your nose burn and your eyes water, kind of like they had when he'd gotten soap in them or when he'd apologized to Chell.

_But how did he know that? _He didn't remember anything about using ammonia for anything when he was a core, and even if he _had _used it for something, he wouldn't know how it _smelled. _He hadn't had any kind of scent receptor on him, there was no reason for one. Though maybe it would have helped him figure out when the humans under his care were... Um... Dying...

The thought puzzled him like nothing else, not even trying to stop the Aperture self-destruct sequence or making the turret-cubes, had ever puzzled him before. It didn't make sense at all, but somehow he knew all about it.

"Okay, Wheatley… Um... It's okay, it doesn't matter, it's- It's probably just some old corrupted file that somehow got transferred with the rest of your memories. It's not a problem, just... Um... Ignore it. Humans ignore things all the time, you can do it too."

But the more he tried to convince himself it didn't matter, the more it bothered him. Typical, that a human brain works in the _opposite _way he wanted it to. Brilliant. Well… Wheatley wondered, confused.

Maybe... He could talk to Chell about it! Maybe she'd know what was wrong with him! Maybe it was just a human thing he didn't know about, to remember things you shouldn't even know in the first place. No cause for alarm, none at all.

But somehow even Wheatley doubted it.


End file.
